Tag Archives: family

What kind of death will you have today?

Im seeing alot of posts about grandparents and how old they would have been, and Shirley Temple died. My grandmother was born her same year (1928) which means, had she been alive, she’d be 86 in April. But she died in 1960, in her early 30’s. She was in a fatal car wreck. It wasn’t pretty. The drivers face came off from the steering column. One was ejected, and she had the motor land on her. She was barely older than me now.

My mom got in a near fatal car accident when she was almost my age. She had been in two real bad ones, but this one happened at 32. Her head was stuck in the steering column. The other wreck was I think the year after or before I can’t remember.

Are you catching the trend here?

Im scared to death to be in a car from now until 34. For the next two years I have to worry about whether 3 times a charm. One was driving, one was passenger. Every time I get into my car, I think about how this might “be it”. I know, superstitious you say.

My family don’t usually die of “normal” causes. I have murder, car crashes, a trapeze hanging, choked on popcorn, and alcohol poisoning, to name some.

Cars make me nervous to begin with. But to know that my grandmother I never met died literally around my age now, when I was little it didn’t seem like a big deal. She was old then. Well, I’m that age now, and I sure as shit don’t feel old. I feel 15. And I’ve really always hated being a passenger–you have no control. And we all know what a control freak I am. At least if Im the driver I had a chance to change whatever could happen.

Here’s to the next 2 years.


2-28-13 Official College Grad

Today was officially my last day at the first step of my college road. I finished the graphic design certification process. From here, I am going to go do all the classes possible at the community college, then finish up at a 4 year.

I got a call this morning for an interview with a wedding photography business. Photo retouch and layout. Its an internship, with no pay. BUT I need the experience. Its about an 1.5 drive each way. I was happy getting a call. Then tonight on the way home from school, I got a call for an interview this Sunday, for a vapor lounge. I’d love to get both…I’d be happy with one…I’m realistic I’ll probably get neither lol.

I then came home and had a lonely, loud karaoke session in my living room. I’m sure my neighbors are thrilled. I quit a little after 3am. Since I was using my computer and surround system for the music, I was on youtube, which of course lead to me watching some fan videos and crying into my microphone. Then I got ahold of myself, sang a little more, and called it a night.

This will be a very busy few days. I have my niece for two days. The interview on Sunday. The one on Monday. It’ll be nice to feel like a real, functioning version of an adult. I’ve waited to long. Those years in a practical fugue state really fucked with my life. I’ll never get those years back. But I can make the most of the years ahead of me at least.

Change A Mind About Mental Illness

Please watch, and know that this video is what mentally ill people need. We need support and understanding. We are your brothers and sisters, your friends and family.

And you are not alone.


Some years back, there was a public service video done for a mental illness awareness campaign. I fell in love with the video, and when I went to look for it online, some of the ones I found weren’t very good quality. For a class project, I used that video, but put another spin on it.