My body is alternating between actual tiredness and physcially being worn out, but awake. Id say I have mono (had it), Preg (cant be), thyroid (its fine currently), so I have no damn clue as to whats goin on. With it, I’m randomly crying/depressed, again all three to be suspected, and none of them actually being it. Ive had cotton mouth horrible for a few weeks, which is now causing me a hoarse cough. I got the flu vaccine against my better judgement, over 2 weeks ago, so I know I’m innoculated. (how bad did I kill that word, I dont even care…)
Tomorrow I wont have the car, but don’t have anywhere to go anyway. Debating calling my psychiatrist and putting off the appointment til next month, if hell call me in some elavil. If not, I’m gonna have to go.
I feel really secretive as of late but Im not so I don’t quite understand. My dreams are getting weird again and feeling all too real which is REALLY fucking with my day to day dealings. I feel wrong. How the fuck do you stop dreaming about shit?? Seriously!
Look, an actual reason to not blog! After my long day that I will blog about NEXT, I came home, after staying up all night, at 430pm came home, went straight to bed, woke up at 630am. Stayed in bed watching DVR’d catfish episodes, fell back asleep at 1030am til 130pm. And Im still exhausted.
It’s one of those weird exhausted. I’ve had them all. I have hypothyroid-it’s kind of like that, and could even be it since I keep forgetting all my meds. I have fibromyalgia, its more than that. My vitamin D is permanantely almost negative, so Im used to that. Im just so completely utterly tired. Mind, body, my eyes hurt, its ridiculous.
It is however giving me some BIZARRE dreams. Weirder than usual.
Last night at some point, or during my nap I cant rememeber, I was flying again. The plane had 4 branches. I couldn’t find first class and the metal gate almost came down on me. The guy who points you to the seat purposely seperated me and the four people i was with. I think they were the characters from sweet valley high.
Last night before I woke up the first time, I was doing karaoke, and Simon Cowell was there with what I think was Obama’s kids, but they were like, 5 and 7. Then Avril Lavigne came over and we were singing after I pissed her off. Somehow then it turned into a zombie house.
At least its a change of pace from always thinking Im awake in dreams.