Category Archives: tv

I’m Still Here

This song is very fitting to my life usually, but more so recently. I added this version because I took the time to make it almost 2 years ago. I was going to just put a lyric video, but I’m putting the lyrics after the video anyway. In case anyone don’t know the video, it’s from LOST.

I am a question to the world,
Not an answer to be heard
Or a moment that’s held in your arms.
And what do you think you’d ever say?
I won’t listen anyway…
You don’t know me,
And I’ll never be what you want me to be.

And what do you think you’d understand?
I’m a boy, no, I’m a man..
You can’t take me and throw me away.
And how can you learn what’s never shown?
Yeah, you stand here on your own.
They don’t know me ’cause I’m not here.

And I want a moment to be real,
Wanna touch things I don’t feel,
Wanna hold on and feel I belong.
And how can the world want me to change?
They’re the ones that stay the same.
They don’t know me,
‘Cause I’m not here.

And you see the things they never see
All you wanted, I could be
Now you know me, and I’m not afraid
And I wanna tell you who I am
Can you help me be a man?
They can’t break me
As long as I know who I am

And I want a moment to be real,
Wanna touch things I don’t feel,
Wanna hold on and feel I belong.
And how can the world want me to change?
They’re the ones that stay the same.
They can’t see me,
But I’m still here.

They can’t tell me who to be,
‘Cause I’m not what they see.
Yeah, the world is still sleepin’,
While I keep on dreamin’ for me.
And their words are just whispers
And lies that I’ll never believe.

And I want a moment to be real,
Wanna touch things I don’t feel,
Wanna hold on and feel I belong.
And how can they say I never change?
They’re the ones that stay the same.
I’m the one now,
‘Cause I’m still here.

I’m the one,
‘Cause I’m still here.

-Goo Goo Dolls “I’m Still Here”
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Stop cancelling shows that require intelligence / Introversion Problems

I normally boycott any and all new shows til the end of the first season/confirmation of pick up order, but against my better judgement, I had to try out Under The Dome. Every show that has ties to LOST dies a fiery death with the exception of Person of Interest and Once Upon A Time and Revolution. (RIP Alcatraz…Park Avenue 666….FlashForward….) But goddamn it I will be pissed if they cancel it.  Im so sick of shows that require 4 braincells to watch getting cancelled coz theyre too “complicated”, while shit like Jersey Shore can get season upon season.

Every time a show comes out that requires people to think, the reviews always come in the same…”Im not watching another LOST.” “Im not spending another 6 years on LOST.” You know what? To all those people that “wasted those 6 years”, I pity your lack of insight on what could have been arguably the best show to ever grace television. Paint me biased, as I run close to ten LOST based fan sites, but how people can not see its genius is beyond me. Oh, you had to think? Something didnt make sense to you? It MUST have been “stupid” and “pointless”. No. You should just attempt to think more. Or, go watch some more Jersey Shore.

Granted alot of people in todays world watch TV to “escape.” Great. Kudos to them. Awesome. Other people, people like myself, people that are introverted, or disabled, look to television for a much different kind of escape. A world where we are involved. Characters that we care about more than actual people. Stories we can lose ourselves in that take us away from what holds us back. People with “9 to 5” normalcy dont get it. They never will. You can go to your job, and make your friends. You can go to the bar, or a party. Thats fun for you. You know whats fun for me? Having a complicated story with complicated characters that I learn to love as my friends. That I feel their pain and watch their story and feel involved. Some of you know what I’m talking about.

There are people that just have to lose themselves. In TV. In movies. In books. In music. We need that escape to recharge. And sometimes having complete bubblegum fluff is the answer. But for people like me, thats almost never the case. Im a complex woman, in a fucked up reality.

Networks need to start realizing that by cancelling a show 7 episodes in, they are just fucking themselves. “Oh its not getting the ratings! Its losing money!” This isn’t the Nelson ratings anymore. We DVR. We On Demand. We stream. We YouTube. As much as you all claim to be up on technology, you ARE–I guarantee-missing views. How is it that shows that have huge cult following get that way? By no one watching them? Doubtful. Stop bowing to critics, stop basing everything on the almighty dollar, and readjust your way of measure. Too much good is going to waste.

“In this life, there are more questions than answers”-Nana Mary

Im watching my dvd of season 9 of roseanne. While everyone in the world wanted to grow up and have a Full House or Cosby life, I always wanted to have roseannes. Dan Conner seemed to be the best husband ever. I was alot like Darlene growing up, but ended up having a marriage like Dan and Roseannes.

Ive literally saw every episode probably a hundred times. Between the dvds, and the fact they ran it on syndication for about 5 years on nick where Id watch it every night. I remember when it was on live when I was a kid, and people (ok 12 year olds who didnt have a clue) saw the finale, they said it was so stupid and pointless and the whole season 9 was stupid. I didnt see it forever. But call it my wonderful tendency to empathize with fictional characters, but it wasn’t stupid at all to me.

Once I ended up with my husband, a housewife who depended on her husband, and we’ve now been together 14 years, it wasn’t stupid or silly at all. I see it as the coping mechanism of someone who was lost, and had to live in a fantasy world in order to cope with the reality that her whole life was dependant on someone for more than half her life. Losing someone like that and moving on? I don’t think people realize that. Not today, in the 72 hour marriage society. Spending most of your life with one person is not something people do anymore. People (especially the 12 year olds who didnt understand life at the time) just aren’t capable of getting it. That she found it easier to make a reality where he left by cheating due to her anger of being left then to deal with the reality of his death.

The final scenes of the finale are only truly felt by someone who could understand, and no matter how many times I’ve seen it, I will forever cry through it.

“”If what doesn’t kill us is making us stronger, We’re gonna last longer
Like the Great Wall of China, Or that rabbit with the drum
If there’s one thing that I learned, While waiting for my turn
Is that in each life some rain falls, But you also get some sun.
And we’ll make out better than okay, Hear what I say
Yeah, any day.”