Category Archives: paranoia

Been there, done that, fucking recycling it apparently.

I know at least one article at some point in this wordpress has an article Ive already wrote, Im just too lazy/pissed off to actually find it.

Sometimes it doesn’t really bother me. Most times it just picks at me. Today it fucking just hauled off and pissed in my face, which is why I am here, writing about it again. And prolly coz people on FB will get all pissy and delete me for not being a sheep.

You know how (esp if youre white) you cant use the almighty “N” word. Don’t use retard, it hurts people. “Gay” isn’t for everyday use. Then why the FUCK is crazy?

I am SO fucking tired of seeing “My mommma’s crazy!” “Im so crazy!” “I’ll go crazy on you and get away with it.” and all the other stupid fucking variants. Shut. The. Fuck. Up. You wanna know motherfucking crazy? Try losing your fucking life? Try killing yourself? Try losing everything youve worked for? Try losing everyone you ever cared about? Try never being able to hold a job? Try not being able to go places? Try being stared at every fucking day in stores? But HEHEHE its SO FUNNY to make shitty FB graphics and ACT ALL BADASS OH IM SO FUCKING CRAZY. Shut the fuck up! You dont know real fucking life altering “crazy” its not fucking CUTE or funny. You’re not gonna go beat some fuckers ass. Youre gonna sit behind your stupid computer screen on your stupid ass.

I’m so fucking tired of “crazy” getting a pass.

What kind of death will you have today?

Im seeing alot of posts about grandparents and how old they would have been, and Shirley Temple died. My grandmother was born her same year (1928) which means, had she been alive, she’d be 86 in April. But she died in 1960, in her early 30’s. She was in a fatal car wreck. It wasn’t pretty. The drivers face came off from the steering column. One was ejected, and she had the motor land on her. She was barely older than me now.

My mom got in a near fatal car accident when she was almost my age. She had been in two real bad ones, but this one happened at 32. Her head was stuck in the steering column. The other wreck was I think the year after or before I can’t remember.

Are you catching the trend here?

Im scared to death to be in a car from now until 34. For the next two years I have to worry about whether 3 times a charm. One was driving, one was passenger. Every time I get into my car, I think about how this might “be it”. I know, superstitious you say.

My family don’t usually die of “normal” causes. I have murder, car crashes, a trapeze hanging, choked on popcorn, and alcohol poisoning, to name some.

Cars make me nervous to begin with. But to know that my grandmother I never met died literally around my age now, when I was little it didn’t seem like a big deal. She was old then. Well, I’m that age now, and I sure as shit don’t feel old. I feel 15. And I’ve really always hated being a passenger–you have no control. And we all know what a control freak I am. At least if Im the driver I had a chance to change whatever could happen.

Here’s to the next 2 years.