I know I should be grateful

I don’t know whats wrong with me lately. I really don’t like being alone suddenly. But I don’t want to be with people either. All this leaves me as a crying mess unable to explain what the hell is wrong with me. My husband used to go out for WEEKS at a time. I just heard hes going to have to go overnight tomorrow and Thursday when normally its only Thursday and I blew up. I don’t know its just … lonely with just sitting here looking at my pets all day. He told me to take him to work so I could have the car tomorrow but who the hell wants to get up at 3am, drive him to work at 4am? Obviously Im going to have to if I want a car, but my luck the damned snow storm will come and then how the hell am I going to get to him? Slowly, I guess. I’m glad my husband has a job, and a well paying one, but sometimes I’d just rather have him home than have the money.

Last night I was laying in my bed and thought up a few posts to write about and you think I can remember a damn one of them now? Not a one. They were even semi interesting.  I wish I could write about some topics, but I wouldn’t on such a public forum. Id go back to my livejournal for that. Maybe I should do that some times…to write about the stuff I can’t write here, just kick all the spectators off of it first. Who knows.

As for my diet, I’ve been sticking to it mostly. I’m at least sticking to the 1500 and under rule. I saw progress the first days but now I’m leveling out. I know its a long journey and its barely been two weeks, but Im already getting jaded. I have no patience. Makes it quite hard sometimes.

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