Its almost July, time moves faster as you get older

Sitting here watching a movie on Netflix, realizing that I can’t hear for shit ever when people are talking, but man when those action scenes happen, suddenly its apocolyptically loud.

Im also realizing its damn near July, that 2012 is half over, that I’ve spent 1/6 of 2012 living at someone elses house, that I spend half my time completely content, and the other half completely depressed, I still have no idea what the hell I want to do, and even when I think I figure it out, it doesn’t work out. I also just realized that was a fucking long sentence.

This supermoon is really pissing off my back right teeth. My cheek is swollen. Theyre usually worse at new moons, but apparently its making the full moon exception that it does on occasion.

I’ve picked up quite a few new followers lately. Thanks for reading my very boring posts about my very boring life. Every now and then I write something worth posting, but usually after something thought provoking happens. Tonight, however, I’ve just sat here on netflix watching horror movies, and contemplating what I can do new in life. New piercing? Tattoo? Hair color? Life was so much easier when I just starved myself for control. What do I have control over now? Doesn’t seem like much of anything, to be honest. I feel like I have little to no say about anything in life. Which is bizarre at 31. Most people can control their jobs, or social life. I have neither. I dont really participate in life much. Im actually kinda starting to feel like a houseplant.

Wow…I also just realized how behind I really am…if anyone noticed, I literally said this was 2012. Where the hell am I? Seriously.

You know…when you dont have much of a “present” to worry about…you spend alot of time contemplating the past. And the future. Ive never been one to “live in the now”. I either dwell on the past, or I fret about the future. How every thing I do will affect later…then spend time worrying both about the past where Ive done what Ive done, and the future, and how I will deal with it.

If Im starting to lose anyone with this train of thought….

you’re not alone.


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