I think the only reason I’m not in the fetal position crying over my creative block is that I know that sans for COMPLETELY FLUNKING (and even then I doubt it) these projects, I’m going to graduate. I’ve busted my ass (through a mental breakdown I missed 3 days over) to maintain a cumulative of 3.95 (current marking period was 3.99) just in case something like this happens. Every marking period I freak out and think I’ll fail, I don’t, rinse repeat. This one would be easier to work through if I just did crap work. It’s literally like I just have NO ideas. Which means I can’t DO anything. THAT’S the scary part. Like, I can’t even do a SHITTY job. Right now, my ENTIRE cd is this eye bleeding pink with literally 30 fonts coz I can’t pick three–yes three. The rule of typography is two. My teacher realizes I’m going to stab myself in the eye and said she’d allow a third. (SOMETIMES a third is ok.)
I’m sure Ill get a semi decent grade on this, but JFC its going to look amature. They showed us examples the other day in class and omfg they were great. I’m over here like, I’M supposed to do THAT?! Yeah, no. I think it literally like, shell shocked me into this block. I’m fucked. LUCKILY the book project later in the class might save me. Ugh. I mean hell, you can see how bad it is when I’m sitting here trying to catch up on blog posts JUST so I don’t have to do anything on the projects. I’m going to get the mock portfolio pictures at least downloaded. When I go to my moms like I do for Wednesdays, she has no internet. I have to have everything available if I decide to take my computer over there. I don’t think I AM but just in case.
Then I ask my teacher about what she thinks about my portfolio site, and I can tell she doesn’t like it. Yes it’s odd. Yes its some kinda weird retro. I don’t know. I just dont want the standard site. And she wants me to lose one of the parts I really want. Just kinda sucks. I feel like I’m going backward. I started off ok, but now I feel like I’m doggy paddling just so I don’t drown.